Celsea Jenkins Wellness Copywriter — GrassFed Copy | Blog-Fia's Beautiful Home Birth Story // Redemption Birth

Fia: A flickering flame

January 16th, 2021 at 8:35 PM I had our 2nd baby in the living room in an inflatable pool.

Six weeks later and I still can’t believe it happened.

If you tuned in to my previous birth story with Scarlet you know that my two births could not be more different. With Scarlet, I, “bought the hospital ticket and got the hospital ride” (not my quote, but I love it). TL/DR: long labor, all the interventions, vaginal birth by the skin of my teeth, lots of arguing with OB’s that desperately wanted to give me a C-section.

When we decided to have a second baby I knew this birth had to be different.

I chose homebirth with 0 reservations and 0 fear. It just felt so right. Setting foot in a hospital again would not be conducive to the birth I wanted and would likely re-traumatize me. I pictured myself arguing with hospital staff to leave me alone, during COVID, while wearing a mask, without the birth support I wanted…nope!

<< side note: a good hospital birth is totally possible, this is simply my lived experience>>

There’s a saying that I heard over and over in the millions of homebirth stories I listened to and read to prepare for Fia. Many homebirth moms have less than stellar first births and then go on to have incredible births at home with their next babies. They referred to these incredible experiences as ‘Redemption Births’ and I can’t think of a better way to describe it. I got a second chance to have the birth I knew was possible and that Ina May — and all the free-spirited women of the 70’s — had promised in her books.

THE LEAD-UP

Fia was born at 40 weeks and 6 days and I found myself getting very in my head about her being late,’ even though my midwives were not putting any pressure on me. Scarlet arrived on her due date so this ‘waiting’ was new to me and I had to remind myself that due dates mean NOTHING and your baby will come when they’re ready! In light of this, I asked my family to stop asking daily if she’d arrived, put my phone away, and just tapped into my mind and body, relaxed, and spent an insane amount of time on my birth ball and doing positioning exercises from Spinning Babies.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15th

I drove to Ojai to see Becca Fuchs for an ‘induction massage.’ My acupuncturist was also doing all the right pressure points, but I thought a change of scenery and a relaxing massage may be nice - and I was right (duh).

The weather was gorgeous and Becca had a lovely outdoor table set up. A warm breeze blew over my swollen body, birds chirped, and her two lively chickens clucked around me.

Truly felt like a vacation!

I was on the table for 2 hours and was so blissed out I didn’t even realize it. After a solid rub down, Becca spent 40 minutes just doing pressure points and we made a video so my husband could try it at home (spoiler, we didn’t need to).

Becca told me that 1 of 3 things would happen post-massage 1) contractions would start right away 2) labor would begin in 24 hrs 3) nothing.

My body chose door #2. The massage seemed to be just the nudge we needed to get the party started.

Still shocked by the size of my belly!!!

SATURDAY, JANUARY 16TH: The Big Day!

I slept well and woke up feeling alive and alert — for the first time in 9+ months!

Braxton Hicks contractions were there, but they had been for weeks, so I didn’t think much of it and Scarlet and I met up with my sister, Grandma, and niece for a long beach walk that felt amazing.

After the walk, we went back to Cami’s house and I ate most of the food in her kitchen, including several grilled cheeses, and then randomly started timing contractions because they seemed closer together, but still not painful. Turns out they were 10-13 minutes apart so I thought it may be good to get Scarlet home for her nap and see how things played out.

My doula Alexis’ words rang in my ears, “ignore labor until you can’t anymore” so we just kept going about our day.

When we got home Wyatt was just returning from his bike ride and I told him my contractions seemed to be getting more frequent. Butterflies in my stomach, but not getting too excited. His response simply, ‘cool.’ Classic Wyatt. We put Scarlet down for a nap and I took a shower.

After, I went and sat on my birth ball to do some of the hip stuff that I’d been doing for weeks. Spending so much time on the ball the last few weeks, it felt comforting to start up right where we’d left off. I felt prepared and my hips were juicy.

Wyatt was napping and I woke him up and told him we should get moving, I had a feeling things were going to speed up and felt my body taking over.

He moved much more quickly than usual.

We started covering all potential birthing surfaces in plastic, setting things out, laying out the tarp, and getting the birth tub blown up. There was a lot to do and it was so fun to set up for what we’d hope would be SHOWTIME!

Scarlet waiting to go to Auntie’s as we set up.

Scarlet woke up around 3 pm and Cami came to pick her up. I was already having some intense sensations and was ready to be alone with Wyatt and just focus on breathing through them. I could ignore labor no longer and feared Scarlet would see me in pain, even though she was so excited and wanted to stay and climb in the pool.

As soon as the door closed I needed Wyatt’s help getting through contractions. I was determined to keep moving as long as possible to get Fia in a perfect position and avoid the back labor I’d had with Scarlet after drinking castor oil. I’d made a cheat sheet to remind myself of positions to try and I coached Wyatt as we tried different things. Sometimes you need to be your own birth coach, after all, it’s your body and you know it best. So glad I made that sheet, even though we all thought I’d never look at it...we sure did!

We called our doula, Alexis, when contractions were 10 minutes apart and she told us to keep her posted. Just 30 minutes later contractions were 7-9 minutes apart and about 30-50 seconds long and she said she’d head our way.

Next, we called our midwives and they also told us to keep them posted.

That’s when things start to get hazy and I entered labor land. I didn’t fight it and didn’t have to because I felt so safe at my house, no inevitable car ride to the hospital awaited me (#prayerhands).

Wyatt counted breathes and did hip squeezes, the contractions got longer and were closer and closer together. I wanted to be alone and went into our bathroom and sat on the toilet and breathed through a few contractions.

When I came out Alexis was there on the floor waiting for me and almost immediately I had another wave and she pressed my hips in just the right way that only a birth keeper can. We fell into an easy rhythm.

Around 6 pm our midwife Jenna arrived calmly and peacefully as if she was entering her own home. She watched me have a contraction and told Wyatt it was time to fill the tub, her tone so loving and light. They worked together for what felt like an eternity to get the water temp right and Alexis and I stayed in the bedroom as she helped me with contractions on all fours on the bed.

Time became irrelevant.

Everyone gave 120% to support me and I felt each person’s presence and love flowing through me.

As soon as the tub was ready I practically jumped in, and immediately felt my body relax. The warm water was heavenly!

At this point, my contractions were getting very intense and some were farther apart and shook my whole body.

I’d been listening to my hypnobirthing app for a while and asked Wyatt to choose new music and he picked the perfect mix by Theo Kottis on Global Underground. Apparently, I’d said I liked it and he remembered (only took 10 years of marriage for that to happen :).

The room was warm, the door open slightly with the perfect cool Santa Barbara breeze coming in. I asked the team to turn my twinkle lights on and light the beeswax candles I put on the altar.

The space was so beautiful and I could read my affirmation cards from the tub with blurry vision. As cheesy as it sounds, they really helped me stay in the zone and feel motivated.

The pool was amazing, I moved freely and figured out what worked best. After several contractions — or maybe a lot more?? — I felt a POP and knew my water had broken. Shortly after that, I hit my ‘I CAN’T DO THIS’ point, every contraction getting harder. Aka transition. Which I knew is a great sign that baby is close so it didn’t get me down. Wyatt laughed at me and said it was too late to go back now.

He was right.

Cami was in front of me on the birth ball squeezing my hands, hers were dry and rough and cold. Felt so good.

Wyatt was behind me pouring water on my back while I yelled at him frequently to “pour the water!” By now I had no filter. Alexis squeezed my hips and Jenna finished preparing everything, moving around the kitchen with ease, filling the tub with pots of hot water, and prepping baby blankets, I knew we were close.

Everyone’s energy was so focused and alive and positive. I’m always amazed by how excited birth keepers get at every birth, even after witnessing this process thousands of times, they’re truly incredible.

I began to grunt and push but didn’t feel like Fia was moving down. I laid back against Wyatt and Jenna offered to check me - this was the first cervical check of my whole pregnancy. She was so gentle and kind and explained to me that there was a cervical lip (which I’d had last time too) but she wasn’t at all concerned about it and gently pushed it back for the next few contractions. Her confidence filled me confidence and there was no hesitation - completely opposite from my hospital experience.

After that, Fia’s head moved down and she started to crown, the ring of fire got real and I moved forward onto my knees and leaned over the tub to push.

Some shrill sounds were escaping my mouth and Alexis gently reminded me over and over to bring it down into a moan and breathe into that space, to trust my body, to let that power help me. Her coaching was invaluable.

I started panting and after a few more contractions Fia’s head was out. Wyatt said he “felt an ear” and for some reason that was funny and motivating. A few more pushes, 9 minutes in total, and Fia was fully born. Wyatt caught her and held her under the water gently while I turned around and kicked my leg over his head. He brought her slowly up out of the water into the twinkly room.

All of the pain and intensity and hard work gone, replaced with overwhelming, indescribable bliss.

We stayed in the pool and held her wet, vernix-covered little body (I was sure she’d be huge since I was!) and both midwives (Alissa had snuck in at some point too) did some gentle resuscitation on my chest with the breathy thing. Everyone was still totally relaxed.

My placenta was born shortly after and we put it in a bowl to float in the pool as Fia was worked on.

The victory walk back to bed (placenta in the bowl and baby still connected for over an hour!)

A few minutes later I was very ready to get out of the tub and everyone helped me and kept me covered to avoid bleeding all over the floor, it was such a triumphant walk and we all laughed and joked as I made it to our bed, looking tired, but also victorious.

THE AFTERPARTY- 9-11 PM

For the next couple of hours, I laid in bed while the midwives did all the standard checks on me and Fia. We all had a glass of champagne and chatted and it was almost like this huge event hadn’t just happened. Everyone told me over and over how well I did, and how my preparation had paid off, which felt so good since last time I’d felt like such a failure and my midwife’s words really reinforced that feeling; a reminder that our provider’s words matter and stick with us.

A celebratory toast for this incredible birth team!

Another great thing about midwifery care is they visited every day for the next week and I didn’t have to go anywhere, I loved seeing each of them and talking about our birth, processing everything that had happened.

TIPS + LEARNINGS

It’s impossible to plan your birth completely. There are way too many variables at play so an open mind and the right team are the most critical piece, but I did find a few things that contributed to a better 2nd experience, here they are:

POSITIONING, POSITIONING, POSITIONING, spinning babies’ daily essentials from 32 weeks on. 0 reclining in my 3rd trimester, on the ball, standing or laying on my side down only.
Active rest in early labor. Didn’t run a marathon, but didn’t lay around either.
Avoided GBS. Getting a positive test is not the end of the world, but I refused to be tethered to an IV and pumped full of antibiotics again this time. I took a great probiotic throughout pregnancy and inserted them as well leading up to the test.
Minimized stress throughout pregnancy + stayed on my SSRI.
Didn’t get bogged down in negative opinions/ birth stories and instead listened to only positive birth stories and asked for advice from other moms who had home births. Really focused on what I wanted to achieve, not what others did or didn’t do.
Put up an altar a few weeks before birth in a central location in our home.
Got a birth tub. I probably could’ve used my bathtub but it was so nice to have a legit tub with high walls. The smell of plastic was overwhelming though!
Tried induction massage- do it if for no other reason than it feels ah-mazing.
Chiro + acupuncture + lots of sex at the end- even if none of it “works,” to start labor, it will help your body prepare.
Dove into homebirth stories via podcasts (Doing It At Home + The Happy Homebirth Podcast) and spoke to women who’ve had homebirths to get their advice.
Followed cool birth workers who support birth freedom and consent (@michellepalasia @mandybirthnurse, search #homebirth for more).
Biggest thing: Ina May’s books! Reading these stories was so encouraging and shifted my mindset completely. You don’t know how your birth will go, but visualizing what you want and knowing that almost nothing is an emergency is so helpful in preparing.
I learned the difference between midwives vs. medwives, it turned out to be very big. Hospital midwives, like I had the first time around, have to follow the rules of the hospital and are often more clinical, something to be aware of.
Sit down and visualize what you want. Ask questions. If you don’t feel good about your provider(s), find new ones. Yes, it’s a pain, but it’s so worth it.

Unfortunately, homebirth is still very privileged, and I don’t take that for granted. It’s expensive, and if you do need to transfer it’s likely even more expensive! I hope one of the silver linings of COVID times is that more and more women will have access to home births and will see it as a viable and safe option that it truly is.

All birth is incredible. I felt like a badass after my first hospital birth too, and I learned so many valuable lessons. Birth is not a competition, everyone deserves to have an awesome, empowering experience.

This experience not only healed me, but it seemed to heal our families, too. Nearly all of them had traumatic birth experiences, unwanted C-sections, or didn’t even know they had an option and just went along with whatever their doctors said. During pregnancy, no one expressed concern (thankfully), but after Fia’s birth they’ve all told us that they were nervous that something would go wrong, but seeing how happy we were with the experience they all got curious, opened their minds, and wanted to hear more.

This makes me so excited because if we can alter our mindset around how birth should be (ie, not a traumatic, fear-inducing event, regardless of where you decide to birth) and how birthing people should be treated by our birth teams. The idea that our incredibly high C-Section rate would decrease and we’d get back to treating birth as a naturally unfolding event versus a medical emergency or a sickness that needs to be managed.

To better births for everyone!

-Celsea